My head is mental.

  I find myself lately in a position when I am completely alone. I have everybody around me but I feel like nobody's there. It's my fault though not theirs. I convince myself I'm alone. I quite enjoy to be alone, to be honest. I like noises of music and people around me. They usually come up to me and ask if I'm okay. I am okay. Then they walk away and I'm alone again. I am used to that. I don't get why they always think I am sad. I'm not sad just alone. Being alone doesn't always make people sad. Not me anyway. I can be independent.
  However I'm not saying I don't like to talk to people or anything. I absolutely love talking to people. But usually I don't have much to talk with them about. Then they get bored (I guess) and leave. I would like to talk to people more but I'm this socially awkward kid (I'm 18 next weekend). I need to know how to say stuff apart from "Heey" or "How are you today"(Thats literally the 2 things I say the most). If I'll keep being like that people will think I'm depressed or something.
  Lately I spend too much time in my room. I overthink. Overthinking is bad for you, just to clarify. It makes your head mental and you are convinving yourself about stuff that are bad and will probably never happen. I overthink about people and events usually. Lately I have been overthinking about my 'love life'. I am single (kinda obvious). I am lonely, as all people get. But I keep putting myself down about that. That's probably because all my friends are happily situated in a relationship. I am happy for them of course but I don't want to be the only single person surrounded by 5 couples kissing and whatever. I am not being mean but it kinda annoys me. But after all I am a mental person.
  There are a few things I will look forward to in January. A youtuber called BriBry (which I love so much) is coming to a youth club on the 27th. He's going to sing. Hopefully I'll get him to sign my ukulele. He's one of the people that inspire me. The second thing to look forward too is Asking Alexandria. I like them but I don't listen to them. If that makes any sense. But I'm going to their concert with about 20 of my friends which will be a good craic! Then the third thing is that I might be getting to a university for the second semester. It's a preety big deal for me as it's the higher level colleges. So fingers crossed!

Hope I didn't bore you to death. Okay loveyoubye.