Dear October: I'm Thankful.

Dear October. 

It's raining outside. I haven't seen rain for a long while. Even though it makes me feel really tired and unable to do anything productive (not that I do anything productive in the first place) I still love it to bits when I'm home. Looking at many droplets on my window gives me this feeling of relaxation and protection. I like to then make myself a cup of tea, or a hot chocolate if I'm feeling fancy and let the day pass by like nothing else is happening in the world around me. 

Times like these make me feel really grateful for everything good happening around me and all the people that help me go through anything I go through, no matter if good or bad. I am not the best person in the world. Recently I had a realization that I'm an asshole. Don't ask me for the reasons why because I won't tell them. The point is that I really want to change. Small steps or big, I will get there eventually. At least I have something to live for. Live to make me a better me. There are so many people that take care of me no matter if it's little things or small. For example, Brendan. He is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. He is there, he understands and he accepts which are a few of his many amazing qualities. I love him to pieces and right now I can't even try to imagine what my life would be without him. He knows how to cheer me up even if I'm being annoying. I love you. Never change. 

Best friends are vital. They  are the people you go cry to or get drunk with to then shout your thoughts to their face. Zaneta, you will always be my best friend. No matter how many times you made me laugh so much that I cried or made me so annoyed at you because of your stubbornness, I will still think of you as my best friend. We all go through shit, sometimes at the same time and sometimes in different times but we're still there for each other no matter how bad we feel. We have the best laughs and everyone should be jealous of how much fun we have even if we send snapchats to ourselves when we're in the same room. I love you and I will always be here for you if you need me.

Mom and dad. You're the best people in the world. No matter how much I will complain about you making me do dishes or writing something for you, I still love you both. I can talk to you about anything and it's great. You trust me and I trust you. I couldn't ever ask for better parents because I already have the best parents in the whole wide world. You kick my ass if I become amazingly lazy about my life and try to kick me on a better path. You have done that many times and will probably have to do again and again. I appreciate your patience.

There are also a few people that do the smallest things that I'm thankful for and they make my life so much easier, even for a few minutes. 

Thanks to the nice bus driver that stopped when he saw me running for the bus.

Thanks to the guy that made small talk with me while I was at work. I suck at small talk and you did it for me.

Thanks to the guy who came up to me and my friend when we were discussing tigers and told us about a cartoon with a tiger he watches even now that hes like 60.

Thanks to Jacob who is a great friend and who helps me with all my problems even though he knows Im an asshole.

Thanks to my boss who gave me a great job that I quite like. 

Thanks to people who see I struggle with giving them change or anything else but still reassure me it's okay and that they have time.

Today, I'm thankful. 

I love you all. See you in the next one lovelies.