Is it hard to be on the other side?

I don't feel very well right now. However I must say I don't feel as shit as I expected. I just got dumped today. It's not a nice feeling I know.

Break-ups are hard as hell. They are hard for the person that is dumped but I think it's even harder for the person who breaks up with you. I have never broken up with anyone but imagine how hard it is to tell someone it's over. I don't think I would be able to tell someone it's over. I couldn't stand the pain in their eyes. Break-ups are hard for both people.

I was kind of expecting that I will get dumped.. However deep inside I hoped we can figure this out. Things haven't been nice between us lately and I gave up on caring. I still did but I tried to make myself not think about it. Yesterday I couldn't sleep and I had a feeling everything will be right. Well my feeling was wrong. I came into the university today and I waited for him. I dossed college but that's not the point. When I saw him I knew. I didn't want to believe it but I knew. Even the hugs were awkward. I felt something is wrong. He wanted to go home but I stopped him. I couldn't wait any longer for a talk with him. Then it happened. I cried. What else was I supposed to do?

Even though he broke up with me and I feel really shit.. I still really respect him. I might sound stupid saying that but I'm not. He broke up with me nicely and fairly. There's no thing as a nice break-up but you know what I mean. He thought about my feelings and decided that would be the best for me and him. He didn't make it dramatic and blamed it all on me. I respect that. 

I'm happy I have amazing friends. I came in to the room my friends were in, crying. My best friend knew. I think everybody knew. They left me alone apart from 2 of my best friends. I ran into Zanetas arms and she didn't say a word. I knew I could count on her. Also Jen (my favourite Asian) came up and hugged me. They made me forget it all. Like nothing ever happened. Thank you <3

I hope that I will be alright. Music and writing keeps me busy from thinking. One day we both will have amazing lives and we will forget it all. Maybe not?